How often do you hear people around you whinging? In the office? At home? On the train? Maybe you do it yourself? We all share our personal and professional experiences with someone, to a greater or lesser degree and talking about the bad ones can be a great bonding exercise. A good rant is easy, it’s free and it can help us let off steam. All it requires is our time, mental energy and a captive audience and these days, if you post your rant on Linkedin, the chances are it will get plenty of ‘likes’.
But if the whinging continues and nothing changes, it becomes a turn-off. Anyone on the listening end of a perpetual whinger knows that regular, pointless rants can drain the life out of any relationship and have a negative impact on the energy around. It’s not healthy. It does nothing for performance – yours or anyone else’s – and it’s unlikely to be part of your vision of success!
So how do you change from having a whinging mindset to one that thinks like a winner?
Well, first you need a clear sense of your own self-image – How you see yourself matters! If you identify as one of life’s victims, whinging will become a habit … unless you take control!
On the other hand, if you believe in yourself – your capabilities, your strengths and the future you want – use your dissatisfaction to motivate change. Draw on that self-belief and take action!
Think of it like this …
Imagine you and your family are driving to an important event.
It’s quite a journey.
Along the route, diversion signs take you off course and somehow, you end up going in the wrong direction.
What do you do?
You either whinge and keep on going, hoping that by some miracle, you’ll end up where you want to be …
Or you stop, take ownership of the situation and get back on course!
Your mindset is a choice. You don’t need to have all the answers from the outset, but if you’re up against a challenge and you don’t own it, who will pay the price?
- If you want things to change, you have to take action. That means when things go wrong, you need to speak up, stand out or put yourself on the line. It can be daunting at first, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.
- You have to be willing to face opposition. You may get knocked back, or have to fight for what you want – not literally but against the accepted norm – but that isn’t a reason to give up. In my experience, when other people realise you mean business, they take notice!
- You may have to give up some time, or put your money where your mouth is, to get the outcome you want. If it doesn’t matter enough to you, why would it matter to anyone else?
- You will probably need to develop your skills, like learning how to communicate more effectively and with a clear outcome in mind. Ineffective communication is the biggest cause of unnecessary frustration.
- You may have to challenge your own limiting beliefs about what is possible, and approach the outcome you want with fresh eyes. Trust me. I’ve lost count of the number of times a client has said that something cannot be done … before they tried and pulled it off!
Anyone who has ever changed things for the better in business or their personal life, began by taking ownership of a problem and seeing it as a challenge they were determined to overcome!
… and if you need a little help to win, or you’d like to chat in confidence, just ask!